You ask: Why do you not ache-, your squawkings are beyond embarrassing! Because, "Fortunately, someone will always find the beauty
in the ugliest things you do."

Danner vs. Bass: What is Love?

Greg Danner:
Since the dawn of man kind, men and women have been struggling to understand the strange compulsions to touch and hold each other, having unbearably strong attractions for one another. These feelings have been called “love”, and have been blamed on everything from “the soul” or “god”. Love is the fault of not these, but a set of chemicals in the brain that have resulted from the evolutionary need to procreate.
Love is the feeling of close connection that individuals experience in regards to other individuals. Primarily, love’s purpose is to facilitate sexual reproduction. Chemicals are released in the brain to drive a person towards another person. This came about in evolution for several reasons. Species that reproduce are more likely to pass on their genetic material- that is, they are able to pass on their gentic material- so naturally, traits that encourage reproduction are more likely to be passed on. Furthermore, couples who love each other want to be with each other and spend their lives together. This facilitates the raising of offspring which is necessary for the passing of genes. Species that take care of their young are more likely to pass on their genetic material because the young need to grow into adults so they can mate and further carry on the process.
In order to encourage interest between the sexes, the brain releases powerful chemicals. The two chemicals that the brain releases are phenythamine and oxytocin. Phenylethamine causes an increase in the transfer of information between cells and acts as an agent for releasing dopamine, which causes bliss, and amphetamine, which acts similarly to adrenaline. This chemical can be released at very subtle cues given to the brain. Even a simple handshake with a member of the opposite sex (or the same sex, depending on your orientation) can release this powerful drug. “Love at first sight” may just be an overwhelming amount of chemicals. The effects of this chemical and the chemicals it stimulates can make a person feel strong, heady, emotions, have a racing pulse, and have heavy breathing. Oxytocin, which can also be released at something as simple as the touch of a lover, causes a physical need to be touched.
These intense chemical feelings, the giddiness, and everything associated with puppy love will fade within 6 months to 3 years, the length of time the brain can sustain the intense feelings of love. After these feelings fade, the psychological attachment to the person releases endorphins for the mature love of an aged couple, which is similar to the love between friends. These endorphins are addictive; the longer people are together, the longer they generally want to be together, which facilitates further fecundation.
Love isn’t anything magical or special. Each time a person feels like “no one has ever felt this way before”, they are dead wrong. Love is just the means for humans to get around to having sex. People who make poetry and love songs and get all sappy about love may as well sing about any other set of chemical reactions. They ought to make songs about photosynthesis and cry over cellular respiration. Love is nothing but the natural desire to procreate and carry on the human race. Human beings expirience these feelings of chemical desire so they can manage to tolerate each other long enough to get around to having sexual intercourse.




Charles Bass:

Love is the greatest outpouring of the human soul. It blooms like a flower and scatters its seeds to the wind. It tames the wild beasts and quiets the angry mob. It is the force which keeps our community together and protects us from the evils of the world. In the absence of the beautiful outpouring of poetic goodness that is love, man would be an empty and uncaring husk, devoid of its humanity, like a vicious animal. Through its grace there is no obstacle which cannot be overcome, it is the ultimate force, the deus ex amor. Though many deign to lump all kinds of love together, it is necessary to distinguish them for clarity of argument. It is through the separation and delineation of love that it may be demonstrated that love is a more mysterious thing than neuronal firings.
Familial love is the love someone feels for their family members and very close friends. It develops from the close bond created from close contact with one’s family members from the moment of birth, including the immediate bond created with one’s mother. It is an unbreakable bastion of affection and loyalty. Will anyone claim that their devotion to their mother or their father could be eliminated by injection? That some magical chemical is the root of that and not their soul?
Universal love is the love for all people, things, of God, or to God. This is the love of the great theologians, that indomitable will known as Christian Charity. It is the bond among each individual and every other living being, that connection which nearly defines humanity and allows for the essential goodness of people. This is the love which inspires piety, charity, and compassion. Can any good Christian declare their God and values obsolete and the product of a chemistry experiment?
Romantic love is seldom differentiated from sexual attraction, because they almost always occur together, however, they are very much separate concepts. Romantic love can be the strongest of all loves. Romantic love is the overpowering impulse to be near and have contact with one other person. It is romantic love that has fueled the arts for centuries by providing those blessed with a muse beyond all others. Those of you who are in love, those of you who are married, can you put that in a beaker? Can that be separated in a centrifuge?
Paul gives us another interpretation in his letters to the Corinthians: “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres” (Corinthians 13:4-7).
Notice that Paul gives no mention of “oxytocins” or “neurons”, instead, he credits love as an extension of our human spirit as given to us by God. Paul, the very cornerstone of our Christian faith, believed in the metaphysical dimension of love.
All types of love, despite their strengths and weaknesses, are still beautiful expressions of mankind’s nature and are separate from any banal chemical process. It is a spit in the face of all art and majesty to suppose that love is a chemical soup. It is love that preserves humanity and to deny its existence as a separate metaphysical anomaly is to deny religion, art, and goodness.

The Evils of Grinding

Mr. Bork found out about Grinding at Heelan, so he made the expected deal that's expected of him. He wrote this letter and sent it to all the families of Heelan's High school students.

January 28, 2010
Dear Valued Families,
Today I would like to approach a topic that I never imagined I would write on. I have taken
numerous courses regarding school administration and have read several articles on successful
schools. In my course work and in my reading the topic of “freak” or “dirty” dancing has not been
covered one time.
I would like to first begin by saying in general our school dances are very positive experiences. I
usually chaperone these events and find it enjoyable. Our kids truly love to be together as a
community. Unlike many other schools our attendance is extremely high and the overall behavior
is outstanding. Our students go against the trend as almost every one of them is on the dance
floor for almost every song. These are all positives that I would like to maintain at Bishop Heelan.
The one negative of our dances has been the recent infusion of “freak” dancing. For those of you
who are unsure or unaware of this term I will add a definition from answers.com:
What is Freak Dancing?
Freak dancing (or grinding) is when two or more dancers rub together to music in a
suggestive sexual manner. You can think of it like dry humping, where no actual
intercourse takes place, but partners and groups simulate sexual acts and positions.
Freak dancing has also been referred to as juking, houseing, freaking, bubbling, dirty
dancing, bump and grind, and crunking (in the UK).
In the US, many freak dancers are adults, but in recent years a popular trend has
sprung among young teens, who have embraced this form of sexual expression on the
dance floor. Back in 1987, the movie Dirty Dancing showed a tamer version of freak
dancing. A couple years later, the Lambada also had some variations of grinding.
The issue of “freak” dancing became apparent after our 2009 homecoming dance. I personally
was uncomfortable with the actions of our students. I was also disappointed in myself and my
ability to uphold the high standards and expectations of Bishop Heelan Catholic High School. I
have discussed this topic with other school administrators, staff members, parent groups,
individual students and our student council. My objective was simple; I wanted to clean up the
actions at dances without threatening the attendance, good times, or the sense of community
shared by our student body. In theory this seems like an easy goal, but finding a policy, or way to
enforce actions has proven to be impossible. The one way to ensure our students behave in a
manner that is representative of Bishop Heelan is to simply ban “freak” dancing from school
functions. I can not as the building administrator in good conscience allow your students to
BISHOP HEELAN HIGH SCHOOL
FAITH . KNOWLEDGE . VALUES . SERVICE Bishop Heelan High School
1021 Douglas Street
Sioux City, Iowa 51105
Phone: 252-0573 Fax: 252-4897
Administrative Office
P.O. Box 1439
Sioux City, Iowa 51102
Phone: 712-252-1350
Fax: 712-252-9085
BISHOP HEELAN CATHOLIC SCHOOLS: BISHOP HEELAN HIGH SCHOOL • HOLY CROSS SCHOOL • MATER DEI SCHOOL • SACRED HEART SCHOOL
behave in this manner while entrusted to my care. If you question whether or not this style of
dancing is right or wrong, I will include step by step instructions to “freaking” from answers.com:
How to Freak Dance
Let’s get started. Below are some of the common techniques that can help you learn
how to freak dance.
• Dance partners face in the same direction where one has their groin in contact
with the other’s butt, or in sexual terms – doggie style.
• Facing each other, dance partners straddle their laps. This is basically a
simulated version of rubbing ones private parts together on your partner’s thigh
through clothing.
• The female partner supports her weight on the floor with her hands and has her
partner stand directly behind her holding her legs or feet up.
• Another technique is known as the “Wave”. Partners synchronize grinding
motions to the beat of the music playing.
• Grinding motions are also known as “Side-to-Side” where partners press
together front to back and front to front.
• In the “Rotational”, the hips move in a circular or figure eight pattern.
• An extreme move called the “Vibration Gyration” involves rapid movements of
the entire body or rear end to the beat of music playing.
• Freak dancing can start with the female partner leading with her hips as her
male partner copies what she does, moving along with her. Or her partner may
simply direct the motions from behind with his hands.
• A “bumping line”, “freak train”, “booty line” or “pelvis conga” is a chain of
dancers, single sex or mixed that grind together in a line to the beat of the
music.
• Another technique called the “sandwich” involves two or more members of the
same sex surrounding another person of the opposite sex in a sort of simulated
“group sex” or orgy type of action.
I understand that this is a graphic description and hope very much that it wasn’t insulting or
offensive to any readers. I also want to make sure that as parents you understand exactly the
elements that are becoming more prevalent at our functions. Upon reading this, I think we can all
agree that these actions should not take place at a Bishop Heelan Catholic School sponsored
dance, or event. I hope you will support me and the rest of our staff as the final two dances of the
school year are approaching. If you have any questions or comments please feel free to contact
me at 252‐0573 or email me at borkc@bishophelan.org.
Thank you,
Christian A. Bork
Principal



Naturally, I wrote a response.


Dear Mr. Bork,

I read your open letter on "Freak Dancing", and I figured it would be useful for you to hear from a student's perspective. Firstly, the term used to describe the form of dancing you describe in your letter is almost always referred to by people around here as "Grinding", and sometimes "Dirty Dancing". In fact, I have never heard of it referred to by any other name before today. Secondly, this isn't at all recent. Throughout my entire experience at Heelan, grinding has appeared regularly at every single dance. In fact, all of the other dances that I have been to have hosted grinding, from the Music Camp at USD, to the Woodbury County Fair's "Barn Dance". Thirdly, you have no reason to be ashamed for the presence of "Grinding" at Heelan. This form of dancing is ubiquitous.

Mr. Bork,the definition of grinding you used described it has a form of sexual expression on the dance floor. I feel that this is a horrible generalization. It very well may be a form of sexual expression for many hormonally charged teens who do it, however it isn't the dance itself that forces the act to become "a sexual expression on the dance floor", it is the actors. Many interactions between human beings can be an act of sexual expression if the people participating make it such. A simple stroke of a cheek may be a tender brush from a father to a daughter or an arousing touch of skin from a passionate lover. Forms of physical contact have different meanings based on the intent of those committing the actions. Obviously a hug from a man to his son has different connotations than a hug from a man to his wife. It doesn't make sense to ban an action based on the intent of some who commit the action. If I formed a sacrilegious club in which the sign of the cross was a symbol of the devil, you wouldn't consider banning the sign of the cross. I feel that at Heelan, students come to the dances with the positive attitude that's cultured in our classrooms. I believe that our students grind merely because it is the popular way to dance. If our students really needed a form of "sexual expression" then they wouldn't attend our dances, they would be having sex elsewhere.

The step by step definition you included used some pretty graphic descriptions. Those forms of grinding that are outrageously suggestive aren't even practiced at Heelan. The rest of the definition either mislabels the spirit of the actions practiced in regards to Heelan grinding (I understand that in other places the spirit of grinding is outright sexual) or simply explains things which aren't questionable or bad. Allow me to explain:
• Dance partners face in the same direction where one has their groin in contact

with the other’s butt, or in sexual terms – doggie style.

I don't know a lot about two dogs having sex, but I don't think it looks like two teenagers swaying back and forth to music. When we dance at Heelan, we don't dance "in sexual terms", we dance to dance. We don't ask our partners "Missionary or Doggie style?", we say "I like this song" or we sing along to the lyrics or have other conversation. I think I'd about vomit if all the dancing I was doing was sexually motivated. We dance for fun.

• Facing each other, dance partners straddle their laps. This is basically a

simulated version of rubbing ones private parts together on your partner’s thigh

through clothing.

If you have ever given anyone a hug or bumped into anyone on an elevator, there is a good chance that your "private parts" have rubbed against them. In fact, many other dances besides grinding have some form of pelvic contact, like the tango. At Heelan, the touching of "private parts" is incidental, as it is in a close hug.

• The female partner supports her weight on the floor with her hands and has her

partner stand directly behind her holding her legs or feet up.

This never happens at Heelan. I have never seen this at any dance.

• Another technique is known as the “Wave”. Partners synchronize grinding

motions to the beat of the music playing.

Synchronizing movements to the beat of the music is called dancing, which I would think is highly appropriate for any dance.

• Grinding motions are also known as “Side-to-Side” where partners press

together front to back and front to front.

This is a restatement of what grinding is.



• In the “Rotational”, the hips move in a circular or figure eight pattern.

Is there a problem with circular and figure eight patterns?



• An extreme move called the “Vibration Gyration” involves rapid movements of

the entire body or rear end to the beat of music playing.

While I have never really encountered really fast grinding, I guess if the beat was fast, the grinding could be fast. Any dance can have an upbeat tempo.

• Freak dancing can start with the female partner leading with her hips as her

male partner copies what she does, moving along with her. Or her partner may

simply direct the motions from behind with his hands.

Most forms of dance have a particular sex lead, like the Waltz, where the male leads.

• A “bumping line”, “freak train”, “booty line” or “pelvis conga” is a chain of

dancers, single sex or mixed that grind together in a line to the beat of the

music.

I haven't ever seen this at Heelan.

• Another technique called the “sandwich” involves two or more members of the

same sex surrounding another person of the opposite sex in a sort of simulated

“group sex” or orgy type of action.

This is like calling a group hug an orgy type of action. The intent at Heelan isn't "let's make believe like we are having sex", it's simply a dance. In the sandwich, an additional partner is included who would otherwise be left dancing alone.


Grinding may be sexual simulation for some, but I feel that at Heelan, our students are more wholesome than that. I feel that grinding is just like any other form of dance for the students who accept Jesus as their savior at Bishop Heelan. I believe we have a wholesome, fun loving attitude, and would be reviled at the idea of grinding as a form of sexual expression.I understand why you are uncomfortable- this form of dancing had me raising my eyebrows when I first saw it. However, this dance's presence at Heelan is just good, clean fun. Our students are a cut above average. I encourage you to reconsider your position on the matter.

Thank You,
Gregory Joseph Danner
Student